Things Children Say About Music.

Actual (almost) answers given in examinations.

It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas: Just grip the person by neck and shake
them in rhythm.

A man who looks on the bright side of things is called an optimist, and one who looks on the dull side is called a pianist.

Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. This became part of the Nutcracker Sweet. It was finally finished posthumously: that means the composer completed it after he died.

Syncopation is emphasis on a note that is not in the piece.

A dot lengthens a note one semitone.

My favourite instrument is the picadilly.

Handel wrote fairy tales.

Euclid wrote lovely music.

Some instruments used in the orchestra are: viles, cellars, trumpets, hornets, baboons, old boys and bubble basses.

Two crotchets make a quaker.

Beethoven made 38 senators and lately celebrated his centurion death. His father was a drunkard and sang Bass.

All female parts were sung by castrati. We do not know exactly what they
sounded like because they had no children of their own.

Esipodical form is when one tune goes out while the other comes in.

Interpretation is the way you present a piece of piece to other people.

To descant is to pour out the air above the tune.

The gamut is a musical scale. The name is derived from gamut or catgut, the material from which the strings of instruments used to be made.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, Beethoven's Erotica, the Taco
Bell Cannon, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suiter, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

F.R.C.O.: Fellow of Royal Canine Office.

A chromatic scale is formed entirely of semi-circles.

Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines over and over again.

An octet is a figure with eight sides.

One semibreve equals two minions and one crochet four semi-skews.

A trio must be sung three times up to the word D.C.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing
without music it is called Al Fresco.

Scales are of two kinds, diatonic and rheumatic.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Contralto is a low sort of music that only big, fat, short ladies sing.

Diatonic is a double-strength low calorie Schweppes tonic water.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfield's and the
McCoy's. This was over a pet called Toccata.

A harp is a naked piano. If you add cords to it, it becomes a harpsichord.

Handel wrote the "Messiah" and "The Lost Chord." It is the latter people cannot forget.

The problem with a French Horn is that it is coiled up too tightly.

An interval in music is the distance from one instrument to the next.

The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork or garden fork.

A sonatina is an instrument which you play by pulling it in and out.

Silence in music is shown by putting your feet down on the paddles.

There are two kinds of scales, dramatic and chronic.

"Agitato" is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the middle of playing something.

There are two pedals, the soft and the hard.

Crooning is a modern form of singing derived from sub-animal or vegetable sources.

"Refrain" means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you are not allowed to sing.

I know what a sextet is but I cannot say as it is rude.

Authorities agree that the music of antiquity was written a very long time ago.

An instrumentalist is one who plays his instrument for love.

Three-four time is simply cripple time.

The fugue is what you get in a room full of people when all the windows and doors are shut.

My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her
church music.

An oboe is an American tramp.

Erik Satie was a well-known Viking composer few people have ever heard of.

Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and also had a
large number of children. In between he practised on an old spinster which
he kept up in his attic.

Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

Mandolines are high officials in China.

D.C. Don't clap!